Honest Conversation
My youth group took a summer mission trip to help a church with Vacation Bible School and outreach to local migrant workers. As teenagers, we learned a lot that week about leadership, service, dignity, and God’s love for all His people. We also learned a bit about ourselves.
My friend Alison went with our youth group that week. Alison and I had been close friends for years and our families attended church together. We loved spending time together. We started having problems that week, though. We sensed something coming between us and distanced ourselves from one another while we each continued to serve on the trip. Another student on the trip attempted to bridge the gap by talking to each of us separately. She relayed messages and demonstrated concern, yet things between Alison and me got worse, not better.
After a couple days – which admittedly felt much longer in that setting – Alison and I finally sat down together to talk to each other directly about what was going on between us. What we learned surprised us: we were fine! Our friend who had tried to be so helpful had herself created the discord and fed it by relaying inaccurate messages and untrue grievances. The group dynamic shifted a bit at that point, and Alison and I felt relief that our long friendship had not begun to crumble.
I see something slightly similar in a relationship in the Bible. In 1 Samuel 24, King Saul pursues David with real intent to harm him. Their relationship had grown hostile, though not completely mutually hostile. David knew King Saul’s intent to harm him, yet when David had an opportunity to take the offensive he chose not to harm Saul. King Saul and David had a conversation to clear the air, and each left the scene with at least momentary peace and restoration between them.
Alison and I shared a misunderstanding on a much smaller scale than the dispute between David and King Saul. In each case, however, the same principle applied: Sometimes we need to talk to each other. We must stop listening to the voices that confuse and escalate a situation and go directly to the source. This truth applies in our relationships with one another and our relationship with God. Sometimes people around us tell us things that simply are not true – about each other, about ourselves, about God. When we engage in open and honest conversation with God through scripture and prayer, we hear and know His true word, character and intent.
I’m thankful for good communication and lasting friendships, with Alison and with God.