'I'm Learning to Love God More'
"Achieving, impressing others or feeling good when I’ve accomplished a lot are not my goals anymore. Now I focus on loving the Lord and obeying what He wants me to do. Prayer and fasting have helped me to surrender…” – Becky Biser
“My relationship with God deepened about 15 years ago. While participating in a peer group, I had to develop a transformational goal that would help me go deeper spiritually with the Lord. “Father, what do I need to do to grow closer to You?” God answered, “Becky, you need to love me more.”
“That started a journey of learning for me. I kept asking, “Father, what does loving You mean?” God told me to stop performing, stop focusing on what I can achieve, and stop trying to get His attention. I’m an overachiever and an activator. I like to make things happen. The Father assured me He doesn’t want me to try to prove myself with Him. He always loves me and notices me. He wants me to surrender to Him, enjoy Him, and let Him guide me. He’s the Shepherd; I’m the sheep.
“One of the biggest lessons the Lord has taught me in this deepening relationship with Him is control is an illusion. Most of us think we are in control of our lives, our children, our careers—everything. We control nothing. The Lord controls everything. As a recovering control freak, I’m learning to surrender all to Jesus—my agenda, my lists, my worries and my desires. It’s all about surrender, letting go of the steering wheel and trusting the Father. God told me, ‘If you don’t love me enough, you’re not going to trust Me.’
“The desire to love God more led me to enjoy His presence by talking with Him all day long. Prayer for me is an on-going, constant conversation with the Father. I begin each morning asking God to work through me that day. I ask Him to show me what He cares about. What things does He want me to do? My personal mission statement is: I shine to empower God’s chosen. So I’ll pray, ‘Lord, whom have You chosen for me to empower today? I want to shine You on those people—so they encounter you, not me. I want them to trust You fully.’
“Throughout the day, I bring the Lord to mind and seek His input on everything. Even while people are talking with me, I’m checking in with the Father so that I can say things that honor Him and help connect the dots for these individuals. Before I go to bed, I thank God for the precious people He has given me the honor of pouring into during the day. I also ask, ‘How do I prepare myself for tomorrow?’
“Fasting gives me more time to focus on praying. I pray instead of eating. As part of our church’s emphasis on fasting, I fast on the fifth day of each month. I go without food throughout that day until dinner. My husband Tim and I make eating dinner together a priority. Since I travel frequently, I often fast for longer periods when I’m out of town. I also lead retreats where we all fast from food an entire day. Sometimes I fast from TV or electronic devices.
“My biggest fast is from control, particularly from control of my schedule. Fasting from food has helped me to fast from control. Surrendering control makes me trust the Lord and accept not knowing what’s next. When I surrender to Him, my life is at peace.
“Now I live expecting to hear from God daily. I try to position myself to hear Him, knowing God's perspective differs from mine. I want to be both aligned to God’s ways and attuned to His heart. I ask God to show me His heart for others, His heart for situations, and His heart for me. Then, the Lord nudges me to say and do things that often make me feel uncomfortable. He stretches me all the time—but where God guides, He provides.
“Achieving, impressing others or feeling good when I’ve accomplished a lot are not my goals anymore. Now I focus on loving the Lord and obeying what He wants me to do. His agenda overrides mine. Prayer and fasting have helped me to surrender my control, my pride, my schedule and my achievements. Surrender means trusting the Father, the One who lavishes His love on me. I’m learning to love God more. That’s what He wants me to do.” – Becky Biser, as told to Sharon Gritz